


the calm after a storm

by moonisland



Series: bad decisions [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hinted Reconciliation, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 07:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11595855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonisland/pseuds/moonisland
Summary: There are hundreds of parks in Tokyo, and Tetsurou just happens to stumble into the one with Tsukishima Kei in it.





	the calm after a storm

**Author's Note:**

> [KuroTsukki with #30: “you can’t run so it’ll be faster if I just carry you.”](https://moonislander.tumblr.com/post/163178187238/otp-quotes-challenge) requested by [vylhunter](http://vylhunter.tumblr.com)!

There has to be hundreds of parks in Tokyo. Around his old house alone, Tetsurou knows there are four to five parks that he usually encounters during his morning jog. And there are 24 hours in a day. That’s 1,440 minutes. He could have picked any time of the day to walk his parents’ dog.

And still he has to accidentally stumble into the park with Tsukishima Kei, right at the moment when the other man looks up from his phone.

He hasn’t seen Kei—it’s Tsukishima, now, he reminds himself—for almost four years. The last time they saw each other is at a busy station in Sendai, a promise soft in their lips. They had held hands, then, and Kei—Tsukishima had looked at him with so many stars in his eyes that it felt painful. Tetsurou had smiled hard enough that he felt the strain on his cheeks. They both had laughed at how Tetsurou had overslept that morning, too comfortable being cuddled up with Tsukishima at the couch in his family’s living room.

Almost a year later, and Tetsurou had ended it. Tsukishima had agreed, and blocked Tetsurou’s number. Tetsurou doesn’t go to his team’s matches that often anymore, since then.

Almost four years later, and Tsukishima is looking at him with wide eyes, expression open with such shock that Tetsurou wonders if he’s ever seen such honesty in those golden eyes.

To be fair, it’s been four years. People change. He knows himself how the university student Kuroo Tetsurou differs from the freshly graduate Kuroo Tetsurou. It seems biased to not give Tsukishima the same judgement, to expect him to stay the sarcastic and defensive high school student forever.

Having said that, he doesn’t expect Tsukishima to turn around and tries to bolt.

Tries to, because as he does so, his legs catch on each other, and he falls down heavily.

“Tsukki!” Tetsurou yells, mostly out of reflex. He bites his own tongue at the unfamiliar nickname, but he scoops his dog into his arms and runs towards where Tsukishima is currently lying face down on the ground.

Tsukishima doesn’t move. Tetsurou pulls off the leash on his dog and urges her to amuse herself in the park, and immediately crouches down beside him. “Fuck,” he can hear the whisper.

“Uh, how bad is it?” He’s actually impressed at how steady his voice is, considering his ex boyfriend that he meets accidentally in a random park in Tokyo just tried to run away from him and that the only reason Tetsurou is actually talking to him is because he slipped. That doesn’t even sound like a real sentence in his head. “You, uh, you went down pretty hard.”

Tsukishima snorts. “Yeah, my body can feel that pretty well.”

He can’t help it; it’s so _him_ that Tetsurou feels a grin grows on his face. “You okay?”

At first he thinks Tsukishima doesn’t hear him, but he pushes himself off the ground and looks up. There’s a scrape on his chin, and there’s a slight hint of blood. The elbows of his grey jumper is dirty, and so are the knees of his jeans. He looks like a mess. But it’s the least of Tetsurou’s worry when Tsukishima’s golden eyes zeroes on him and narrows, and he says icily, “I don’t know, I just fell down when I tried to run away from the guy who dumped me years ago, and now I’m talking to him, which is clearly the last thing I want to do. Do you think I’m okay?”

Well, if he wants to wipe the smile off of Tetsurou’s face, that sure does it.

High school relationships end with a break up all the time. High school relationships built from Skype calls and sporadic visits, even more so. Tetsurou knows this. Tsukishima said it to him after he tried to apologize, his words cold and biting. There’s no reason for him to wince and feel the stab in his chest, the one that has haunted him for years, creep up all over again.

There’s no reason for wanting to cup Tsukishima’s face gently in his palms, and make sure that he is okay. In a lot of ways.

“Right,” he says. He gulps, and because he’s a coward, turns to look at his dog in the distance. Silence envelops them. Tsukishima doesn’t try to run again, but for some reason, it doesn’t make Tetsurou feel any better. After the stretch turns unbearable, he clears his throat and stands up, though he keeps his posture low. He turns back towards Tsukishima, who’s staring hard at his fumbled fingers. Stab. Tetsurou blinks the familiar image away. “Can you stand?”

Tsukishima looks like he wants to pretend Tetsurou doesn’t exist, and he doesn’t reply for a long minute. Finally though, as Tetsurou hovers awkwardly above him, he exhales loudly. “No,” he says.

For some reason, that surprises him. “No?”

“No, I can’t stand,” Tsukishima grits, still not looking at him.

“Oh,” Tetsurou says, crouching down again. “Is it your ankle? Did you sprain it?”

“Can’t you just leave?”

At first it doesn’t register, but Tetsurou looks up from trying to inspect Tsukishima’s feet, and his eyes. He expects rage, and annoyance, and maybe disgust in them. He expects words full of knives, biting and striking hard at the vulnerable parts of himself. He expects being shut down hard, with no chance of the door budging.

It doesn’t register because Tsukishima whispers it, and when Tetsurou looks up, he sees the glisten of tears. He sees a broken door, open because it’s been destroyed, and he sees vulnerability that punches at the center of his chest hard, leaving him breathless.

It’s been four years. Tetsurou is still reminded, like he is every goddamn day, that he’s fucked up.

It’s probably courtesy to just leave. Tsukishima may not be able to stand, but he has his phone, and closed off as he is Tetsurou’s sure he has friends around who he can call to pick him up from a park in Tokyo. He should probably just go take his dog and bow politely at the other man, walk away from the place, and never turn back. He should probably, for the first time in forever, listen.

“You need to check your legs,” Tetsurou finds himself saying instead, and tries not to flinch at the surprise in Tsukishima’s eyes. Again. “And you can’t run, so it’ll be faster if I just carry you.”

Tetsurou most definitely deserves the incredulous look Tsukishima gives him. It’s probably not something anyone with their history in their situation would say, least of all to Tsukishima’s… plea.

But his logic has led him to a mistake, once. He’s not letting it again. At least not like this.

He knows it’s childish that he feels nervous as he waits for Tsukishima’s response, but he doesn’t back away from Tsukishima’s stare. The determination brimming inside his chest is probably way too late, but he tries to show it through his expression. And finally, after a long minute, Tsukishima says, “I don’t want to.”

Somehow, the petulant tone lying underneath the words helps loosen his shoulders. Tetsurou can feel the edge of his lips twitch, but he sighs and turns around so his back faces the other, and positions himself. “Well, too bad, Tsukki. Hop on.” He tries not to show his extreme relief when, after a stretch of silence, he can feel Tsukishima climbing onto his back. “Here goes,” he says, making sure he has a strong grip on the other’s legs at the side of his hips, and stands up.

Tetsurou can immediately tell that Tsukishima weighs too little, but he refrains from commenting. Tsukishima doesn’t make a sound as his position is adjusted, but he tightens his fingers on Tetsurou’s shirt every time they move with Tetsurou’s steps, pulling at it a little. The strap of his bag digs against Tetsurou’s back as he jogs slightly to get his dog, gesturing for her to follow them.

It’s hard to remember the break up, but at the same time, extremely easy. He relives each events that lead to it every so often that it becomes something akin to a repeated movie reel behind his eyelids. The same mistakes, the same stubbornness, the same pain. One, Tetsurou has been swamped with assignments and was tired beyond belief. Two, Tsukishima has been flooded with insecurities and there’s an insistent aching beneath his ribs. Three, they hadn’t seen each other for ten months aside from the blurry image on their screens.

Four, a phone call. Five, a slip of tongue. In the end, six, an ultimatum. The credit rolls after Tetsurou said, _Goodbye,_ and Tsukishima hung up on him.

One, two, three. Tetsurou counts the steps he takes, feels the weight behind his back, and tries his hardest not to grip at Tsukishima’s legs too tightly. Four, five, six. Tetsurou thinks about second chances, and tastes the familiar bitterness of regret at the back of his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s Tsukishima who breaks the silence, words shaped against the side of his neck. It’s not at all what he imagines it, when those words finally appear between them. It’s not said tearfully, or with anger, or with a lot of emotion at all—it’s just there, put into the air with a certain aloofness Tetsurou used to be able to read from Tsukishima, laid down for him to do whatever he needs with it.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Tetsurou replies, and it’s the only time he feels this certain since his eyes land on Tsukishima in the park.

“I have a lot of things to apologize for,” he says, voice softer.

“If anyone should do the begging for forgiveness thing, it’s me.”

Tetsurou can feel Tsukishima shakes his head. The grip on his shirt tightens. “I was planning to visit your house,” Tsukishima says, and that. Tetsurou stops. He probably thinks it’s some kind of disapproval, because Tsukishima immediately continues, “It’s—I got your address from Kenma-san. I—we both have a lot of things to say, I guess, but I don’t—it doesn’t seem right to call. I don’t want to call, I want to see you and talk properly. We both fucked up and I’ve picked at the scars for years, but now I want,” he pauses, finally running out of steam. “I want,” he says, simply.

This is who he has always been in love with, Tetsurou thinks. He’s out of breath, and it’s not because he has another person on his back. “Yeah,” Tetsurou says. He can feel the fast beating of Tsukishima’s heart against his back, loud and clear. Tsukishima has always been the braver one between the two of them. The kinder one. “I want it, too.”

There are hundreds of parks in Tokyo, and Tetsurou just happens to stumble to the one with Tsukishima Kei in it. He has never been more grateful to whichever part of the universe that intervenes with his life and lets him end up with someone he’s thought he’s lost forever pressed agianst his back, arms finally tight around his neck and face buried against his shoulder.

“I transferred to Tokyo U, by the way,” Tsukishima mumbles.

Tetsurou laughs, light and sweet. He doesn’t know if he can use the word _love_ again just yet, but the fondness in his heart spreads all over, taking over the scars he’s carried for years. “Tell me all about it later. We have a lot of talking to do.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://moonislander.tumblr.com)/[fic post](https://moonislander.tumblr.com/post/163336757058/30-for-kurotsukki-3-only-if-youre-feeling-like).
> 
> the whole fic is inspired by megurina luka's [answer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrbVahCHDw4). like, literally i put it on repeat for the entirety of writing this. it's beautiful and painful and you should listen to it. again, feel free to prompt me up :D


End file.
